Gryphon Astrology Blog

Horary Question:

I am 37 years old, and had a 4 year whirlwind live-in relationship with a guy 4 years my senior. We are very compatible on the sexual level, but both emotionally immature. Our split 3 years ago was very acrimonious. Both families got involved and his family was very one-sided. My family was much more neutral.

Part of our attraction is our differences; my family is bohemian and money poor. I am of mixed race where his is white English. He was educated privately. I never felt comfortable with his family, which has lots of unspoken rules for conduct and I suspect not comfortable with people of colour in the closer ranks.

I instigated a meet up after no contact at all these last years, and have started seeing him again, and of course sex is fantastic because I want him with my body and soul.

After 6 meetings I am getting impatient with him, but we are able to talk about things we couldn’t before. Turns out he has a new girlfriend of two years, that he says he loves. He has taken her to meet his parental home and been to France with her to meet her family. So he must be serious about this girl, at least until I came back on the scene. He says I turn him on like no other and that the sex they have is not as good. She is good for him on other levels and he calls her ‘excellent really.’

I want to end seeing him while he is in a new relationship, I don’t want to be the obstruction or excuse for him not being emotionally available to the next girl. It is difficult to stay at arms’ length, because my bio clock is ticking, I yearn for him. He tells me that he wants to be with me, but afraid of (his words) divorcing a lot of people, who were there for him, when we split, and to be disenfranchised again. These are real concerns and risks to consider.

What are the real chances of us succeeding as a couple?

—E.

Nina Gryphon:

Dear E.,

Thank you for writing to me, and wow, what a saga. As always, I cast a horoscope for the time that I understood your question, a method called horary astrology. The horoscope for your question is below:

You obviously think the world of this guy. Two of your three significators, Mercury and Venus, are in the exaltation of Jupiter. Since Jupiter rules your seventh house of partners, we know you’re putting him on a pedestal. With Jupiter in its own sign, even though it is retrograde, he is probably rather pedestal-worthy, whether in appearance or overall good personality. The only problem with his planet being in its own sign, is that it is rather uninterested in anything but its own needs. This does not mean he doesn’t care for you, as we will soon see, but I would like to see him put himself out a bit more on your behalf.

With his co-significator, the Sun, in Gemini, we see that he is very physically attracted to you, and in an ideal world, he would marry you. However, this is not enough to actually motivate him to do so. His girlfriend is one obstacle; he does care for her a good amount, though not as much as you, and she thinks the world of him. She is indicated by Saturn in Leo, the sign of the Sun.

To see whether the two of you would actually get married or have some kind of permanent relationship, we need to see if any of your planets in his planets will meet. Unfortunately, there are no upcoming aspects between your planets and his, so I am concerned that a marriage or similar exclusive relationship would not happen. I was hoping that there is some kind of third party who can be of assistance. Specifically, we would want to see Mercury (you) aspect Mars (a third party), and Mars would then aspect Jupiter (your guy). This would bring your planets and his together by the mediation of another person. The problem is that Mercury is moving very slowly, and Mercury will not aspect Mars before the latter trines Saturn. So I am afraid the other woman is going to whisk him out from under your nose, mainly because your guy does not want to do anything hasty or risky (in his mind).

—Readers who wish to get a reading from Nina Gryphon may purchase one at top left, or learn more at http://www.gryphonastrology.com/astrologyreadings.html.

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