
Question:
I am married with 2 wonderful kids. All my life, I have always felt that my soulmate exists somewhere and that when I see him, I would know it immediately. Now, in my younger years, of course I’ve had infatuations and the like, however, now that I am in my 30’s, I feel I am more experienced and also know exactly the kind of person I would be happy with. The culture where I come from, we have introduced marriages, hence my current marriage is of that kind. I am happy except for the fact that I feel I have not met my soulmate. I have been married for 10 years and really till now, have not thought of looking at other men in general. I don’t do that normally.
Fast Forward to November 2005, when I met a new man. From the very first day I met him, I felt a really strong connection. I met him in June 2005, I dismissed it as a silly crush. But in November of 2005, when I saw him, I felt an instant connection and against my better judgement, I decided to start talking to him. It’s been about 10 months now, and really, my appreciation for the kind of person he is, does not show any signs of waning. He was really interested in talking to me in the beginning and when I showed mutual interest, he backed off a bit. But then I started keeping in more frequent touch, at times, I do feel that I make more of an effort, but he really has not asked me to stop. In July of this year, I decided I will stop talking to him as he was really distracting me and I felt, why, when I have a complete family and everything is going well, should I bother? We meet once a week, (it’s always a very platonic meeting, except for one time, where it almost came to an intimate moment, but we just hugged and that’s it). I am very confused about what is going on.
My question to you, on an astrological basis, is whether this guy is my soulmate? Have I really found my soulmate? Or is this is all an illusion?
I am not looking to indulge in a frivolous time pass thing, rather in quest for my true love and soulmate. We have one life to live and in this life time nothing would fulfill me, if I found that one person who is supposed to be my soulmate.
—H.
Nina Gryphon:
Thanks for writing to me, H. I’m always interested in looking at the horoscopes for the questions that people send to me, because they always show the situation as it truly is. Very frequently, people will omit crucial information in their e-mails to me, whether because they think it’s irrelevant, or because they think it’s none of my business. But the horoscope shows the truth, and we can see a whole new dimension to their question, or the real reason for their situation. For most people, this is something of a revelation and helps them move forward with their situation because it confirms something they already knew deep down.
I think this is the case with your situation, because your e-mail begs the question, if everything is so wonderful in your life, why are you seeking emotional fulfillment elsewhere? Your husband is notable mainly by his absence from your question. We will see whether we can identify him in the chart and see the nature of the relationship between the two of you, which might help address the situation at its root.
As always, I cast the horoscope for the time of the question, a technique known as horary astrology. This technique is very ancient and highly specific and accurate. It works extremely well for situational analysis and prediction; just like in your situation. The horary chart is below:

In this horoscope, we first notice the very early degrees on the ascendant. This often shows that the situation is still in its very early stages. However, the chart shows very accurately the way things look at the time of your question, and the way they appear to be headed.
In his horoscope, you are shown by Jupiter, which is in Scorpio, and therefore in the sign of Mars. The man you mention is shown by Mercury in Libra, separating from the conjunction with Mars in its detriment. This makes me strongly suspect that there is another person involved, specifically someone like a wife or girlfriend to the man. Because Jupiter is in the sign of Mars, this shows you been under that person’s control; that is to say, as long as she is on the scene, whether you know it or not, you cannot fully act. It shows the politics of the situation, as it were.
Mercury and Mars are both in Libra, where they are in the sign of Venus. Venus is your urge to find a mate, so it shows the level of your physical attraction to this man. Here, Venus is in Virgo in the seventh house, showing that you are very physically attracted to the man. He obviously feels similarly, because Mercury is in the sign of Venus, so he appreciates the attention, and the Venusian energy. Venus is in the detriment of Jupiter, and in the sign of its own fall. This is not uncommon in questions about love triangles, because it shows that your physical attraction is at odds with your head (Jupiter), and there is something “bad” about it, which is shown by Venus being in its fall.
Jupiter, for its part, feels the same; it does not like Venus, so you know on a mental level that your attraction is a problem. The moon shows your emotional side, and here it is in Cancer, its own sign. This shows your emotional enjoyment of the situation, and reveals a lot about what’s going on in your heart. The moon exalts Jupiter, so we can see that there is a strong force (your rational side, shown by Jupiter) holding you back from pursuing this relationship. You yourself have mentioned that you have kept it platonic for an extended period of time. At the same time, the moon is in the detriment of Saturn, so you really dislike whatever Saturn represents. We also notice that Mercury and Mars are in the exaltation of Saturn. Meanwhile, Jupiter and Venus are not interested in Saturn at all. In short, we can be pretty certain that Saturn is your husband.
How is Saturn? Not great. Saturn is in its detriment in the malefic sixth house; this does not have the makings of a satisfying relationship. What makes it more problematic, is that Saturn is not terribly interested in Jupiter, Venus, or the Moon. We simply do not see much of a bond between the spouses here. On the mental and physical levels you are handling this reasonably well, but your Moon, being so unhappy with Saturn, shows the lack of emotional fulfillment in the marriage.
What is the Sun, that so influences Saturn? The Sun shows the other man’s physical needs; your marriage is not helped by the sexual energies between you and the other man. The Sun is in Virgo, where it is in the sign of Mercury, the fall of Venus, and the detriment of Jupiter. The other man does not seem hugely attracted to you, at least on the physical level. I think this is why you feel like you have to put more effort into continuing the relationship. For him, the spark just isn’t there, and it is very difficult to have a relationship with a man who is not at least somewhat sexually attracted to you. I notice that the Sun will shortly move from Virgo into Libra, where it will be in Venus’s sign. This shows that if you choose to continue the relationship, a greater degree of sexual attraction will develop mutually. Of course, that will entail its own decision on your part. Do you want to take it to those levels?
Do I think this man is your soulmate? I am not so sure, simply because there are so many entanglements in both of your lives with other people, it strikes me more that this is a way for you to escape the emotional dissatisfaction in your marriage. It does not mean that the two of you cannot live happily ever after, but the big concern for me is that neither Mercury nor the Sun, his two planets, are terribly interested in the moon, your emotions. I am not sure that you would be so emotionally fulfilled in relationship to this man either. The last thing you want to do is to jump from one relationship to another, at great personal cost, only to find it’s really the same thing in different clothing.
—To schedule a private consultation with Nina Gryphon, you can email her at nina@gryphonastrology.com.