Gryphon Astrology Blog

Question:

I am like many millions who would like to know when I am going to be married. I have met so many men and I am ready to settle down but things don’t work out. Right now I am so frustrated and just don’t know what to do anymore. I have been patient and my biological clock seems to be ticking even louder now. I am going to be 38 years old, and embarking on my second advanced degree. The problem is that in this area, most of the guys are not on the same academic level as I am. I think that is very important especially where communication is concerned. So I end up looking for guys through the Internet. Well, so far I have come close to five guys who were ready to settle down, believe it or not, at the last minute they all changed their minds. When I ask why, apparently they don’t know or they leave me hanging and after a few months come calling; of course I am not interested any more. I feel my life is at a standstill…nothing seems to be prospering, neither career or marriage.

I feel so rejected, I mean there is ample time for them to pull out but when emotions are all involved I get so frustrated. I ask myself what am I doing wrong? I know for sure it’s not me. But again, I never fail to wonder.

—B.

Nina Gryphon:

Thank you for writing to me, B., with your problem which is indeed very common. So many of my clients want to know when they’re going to get married or, if they come from Western cultures, where the open desire for marriage is not considered politically correct, when they will find a long-term relationship. But of course it translates to the same thing.

I set the chart for the moment I understood your question, a technique known as horary astrology, in which the answer to a question is encompassed in the horoscope for the question itself. The horary chart for your question is below:

In his horoscope, you are shown by Saturn in Leo in its detriment in the eighth house. The eighth house is the house of fear, and very often when we see the person’s significator there, we can see that they are afraid of whatever is going on in their situation. We see here that you are indeed very afraid of never marrying. Saturn in detriment is not an appealing planet; and here may lie one clue as to why you have found it difficult to find someone to marry. Your fear and desperation scare the men off — they may not know how exactly to verbalize it, but it is likely the deal breaker.

Your other significator in this horoscope is Venus, which shows your urge to find a mate; this is not just sexual, but more your interest in finding a husband in order to have a man. There is not a lot of rationality to this part of ourselves. It is more our genetic and cultural programming. Venus is in Virgo, in its fall, also in the eighth house. It tells a very similar story to Saturn, and shows that your fear and anguish are present on multiple levels in your life. Therefore, the first practical step I would suggest is to do a little spiritual cleansing before trying to find a man. At the end of this article, I will give you some suggestions on how to proceed.

Now, let us take a look at the overall flavor of the horoscope to see whether you will get married at all. People often skip over the important question of whether they will find a husband, and immediately ask when they will find him. First, we need to look at the practical terrain of the situation. That is to say, are you, at the age of 38, likely to get married? I would say so, though your odds are not as good as someone in their early 20s, but you’re still young and may well marry twice, if the chart should suggest it.

Based on my assessment of the chart as a whole, I would say your odds are decent, though not amazing. Both the Moon and Saturn are in a barren sign, which in a question about marriage suggests the lack of marriage. Venus, too, is in a barren sign, adding to that testimony. However, these are not insurmountable problems, so if you start with assuming 70-30 odds for marriage, we’re looking at maybe a 40-50% chance of ever getting married. That’s not bad.

Then it remains to be seen when you will make the mutual decision to marry. The best bet for marriage in this horoscope is the Moon applying to Saturn in less than 3 degrees. If we follow the timing rules strictly, this would give us less than three months. However, I would suggest it means three years, given the context of your situation. The Moon represents the potential husband, because the rules the seventh house of partners. In Leo, the Moon is very interested in the Sun, which is the ruler of Leo.

The Sun represents his urge to find a mate, the male version of the Venus principle I discussed above. So his mind is going to follow his biological urge. This works in your favor, because his mind is going to be on marriage as much as yours. So how is the Sun? Can it actually deliver marriage? In Virgo, it is not very strong, and it has recently conjoined the malefic South node. So, right now, whoever this is is not very ready to marry anyone.

The good news, however, is that the Sun is about to move into Libra. In Libra, the Sun is in the sign of Venus, and exalts Saturn, so this person will be very ready to marry after some period of time. We noticed that it will move into Libra in about 4 degrees, while the aspect between the Moon and Saturn gives 3 degrees. So this gives us a range in which we can expect marriage: three to four somethings. I’m inclined to think this is more years rather than months. I believe it will be closer to four years rather than three, because the Sun is in a double sign, which always prolongs things just a little bit.

— For a private consultation, e-mail me at nina@gryphonastrology.com.

Spiritual Work

Spiritual cleansing is the first step to achieving anything you want; if you imagine your life as an empty house that you want to redecorate to your own liking, it stands to reason you will want to clean the house first before attempting to move in the objects of your desire.

For someone who is working with a relatively long history of bad luck in love, I would strongly recommend a series of baths. You’re working with the spiritual equivalent of a house that has not been cleaned in a few years, to continue the above metaphor. You would want to use a 13 herb bath; 13 is the number that breaks bad luck, or rather turns bad luck to good. Also, I would start at just after the full Moon, and do a two week series of daily spiritual baths until the new Moon. Then I would stop for two weeks and repeat again just after the next full Moon. I would do the series a total of three times, lasting three months. If this seems like a lot, remember how long it took to accumulate all of this detritus on your psyche.

Spiritual bathing is not the same as regular bathing, and there’s no soap involved. Some people do like to use spiritual soaps, one popular brand in the United States is Florida water soap, or sometimes the green Chandrika soap, which is made with patchouli and sandalwood. Anyway, the 13 herb spiritual bath involves making a strong tea from a special 13 herb combination of herbs (which includes cleansing herbs like eucalyptus, and which I sell - e-mail me at nina@gryphonastrology.com) . You can then add this tea to a regular warm bath, and immerse yourself, head and all, 13 times. Here, it is traditional to recite or read the appropriate Biblical psalm, very often Psalm 37 (”Fret not thyself against evildoers…”). However, any relevant and appropriate sacred text would do, depending on your religion. After you step out of the bath, you would let yourself air dry, to keep the beneficial influences of the bath on you. This may be a good time to turn up the heat in your house.

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